When I was about eight years old my parents took my siblings and I to the countryside to see our grandparents. I remember being so excited since it was my first time going to see them where they live. And also because I’d get to play with countless dogs and the possibility of going horseback riding for the first time was a given.

After a shaky three hour ride and close to an hour walk from the main road in to the villages that loath the city life, we finally arrived. As we got to their village I saw my grandparents waiting for us outside their house and I started running their way to hug and greet them. But what was waiting for me was unexpected.

Perhaps I was hoping for too much – a hug and a kiss, maybe a little lift up and spin, but no! As soon as I got close, my grandmother started spitting on me, yes, spitting! It was not big balls of saliva but it was still relentless sprinkles directed at my face. With utter disgust I yelled out “why are you spitting at me?!” turned around quickly and started running back to my parents only to see my dad laughing at me so hard. Taking joy out of my misery, I thought.

That day I learned that in our old culture when an elderly does that to a kid it is actually a blessing and the kid should not shy away from it, and oh yeah, their blessings do come true. It has happened to me a few more times throughout the rest my childhood but I’ve always either avoided or dodged it.

May be I shouldn’t have. Who knows where those blessings could have gotten me by now.

But imagine had it happened to an unsuspecting grownup, on a first visit, it would have without a doubt been just too weird and awkward no?

Here are the few tips that might save you from those few weird and awkward moments that we have in store for you for your first visit to Ethiopia.

The Weyalas

The line buses/minibuses in Addis are the most commonly used modes of transportation to get around the city. So let’s say just when you were trying to hop in one to go somewhere, you see a guy in front of you by the bus door staring at you and yelling out names of random areas to you. What do you do? Run as fast as you can in the other direction? No, don’t do that.

These guys are called Weyalas and they are not possessed and they don’t have mental problems. Their job is to help to the bus driver. What they do is yell out the areas that that specific bus passes through and its final destination to everyone passing by so that you’ll know which one to catch. And they also collect the fees from the passengers, tell the driver to pull over when someone wants to get off and also open and close the door for the passengers. So just don’t run away. It’s weird.

Gursha

That awkward moment when eating Ethiopian food (mostly Injera) with an Ethiopian and he/she rolls a big one for you and stretch out the arms to put the food in your mouth.

It happens a lot and it is quite hard to avoid.

No, they do not think that you have not mastered the art of putting food in your mouth and no, they do not think you are in bad shape and you need to eat more. This selfless act is called ‘gursha’ and it is done for a simple purpose: to show affection. All Ethiopians have grown up with a lot of gurshas flying their way. And it is not so nice to say no once the arm has been stretched. There is even an episode of The Simpsons where they actually took joy out of gursha. So can you.

So when it happens to you, man up, open your mouth and take it like an Ethiopian.

The other thing you might notice about Ethiopians is that they will always invite you to join in on eating their food with them. They are just being polite and they just don’t want to eat alone if they are not alone. The word used to ask someone to join in on the feast is ‘enibla’ which means ‘let’s eat’.

This you can say no to without the person taking offense.

The Eyebrow Thing

Let’s say you were talking to an Ethiopian and the conversation reached the point where you had to ask him/her a yes or no question, and you did, but there was no reply so you ask again and still no reply. What do you do? Yell at that person? No! Just try to notice the eyebrow movement because a swift move of raising the eyebrow up then down means yes. It’s like nodding but only slicker.

To say no or disagree we shake our heads like everybody else. So no tricks there.

The Short, Quick Inhale

When speaking with an Ethiopian you might notice that they do the short quick inhale thing every now and then as they listen to you. It is like taking a fast short breath, a relaxed voluntary hiccup without the click, the equivalent of a nod or the “aha… aha” you do when you are listening to a person.

So don’t be mistaken, it is not because we are highlanders and there is a shortage of oxygen. It’s perfectly healthy and a sign that you are being listened to. So do not worry.

Ferenj, China, and African

It doesn’t matter which corner of the world you are from, for most Ethiopians, if you are white you are a Ferenj. It is said that a long time ago there were some French people here in Ethiopia and the Ethiopians pronounced it as ‘Ferenj’. And to this day the word that is used to refer to a Caucasian is Ferenj.

Most Ethiopians refer to the Chinese, Korean, Japanese and such, as ‘China’. I think there is no need to do research to find out why we do but I have a reason to believe that it is not out of ignorance. It’s just that thing we do.

You can point to people from different sub Saharan countries and ask an Ethiopian where they are from, the answer will be “He’s African”. Then ask the Ethiopian where he/she is from and the answer will be “I’m Habesha” (means Ethiopian). It is not because that person is facing an identity crisis, it is just the way they refer to themselves and the rest of Africa. It is quite common to hear Ethiopians refer to other Africans as if Africa is another continent. Is it a nationalist thing? A pride thing? I do not know but it is definitely a thing.

And in the words of the wise old man who used to live next-door to my parents “Do not ask questions you do not want to know the answers to.” Wait what?!

After the 911 attacks on the two towers of New York more than a decade ago, all the Ethiopians that call these towers their workplace were taken in for questioning. The police had a good reason to believe that they were potential suspects. Now, how did these people who are from a country that is allies with the US and moved to the land of opportunities to get the taste of the “American dream” end up being suspects for the terrorist attack? The reason is amusing;

As one can imagine when the Ethiopians were rounded up and taken in to the interrogation rooms they were undoubtedly shaking with fear and some might have even wet their pants. But this panic and fear that can be read from these Ethiopians’ faces can only be mistaken for culpability for the first 5 minutes of the questioning, till the million dollar question was asked; ‘Why were you not at work on the day of the attack?’ The interrogators surely have heard it all when it comes to reasons, lies and alibis. But not this reason, not ever. And the reason was

‘It was New Year’s Day, It was a holiday’

I’m sure the questions that followed were something like ‘in mid-2001?!’, ‘in September?!’, ‘and why in God’s name on the 11^th?’ but little did they know; it was not 2001 for Ethiopians, it was not September and it sure was not the 11^th in the land of thirteen months of sunshine, oh yes, thirteen months!

It was Meskerem 01, 1994.

Breaking Down Ethiopian Calendar and Time System

This calendar system belongs to the Orthodox Tewahido churches and Coptic Orthodox Church and it is used by the whole of Ethiopia and Eritrea (once part of Ethiopia) as a primary calendar system.

The Year

It is believed that the difference between the Ethiopian and the Gregorian calendar system came about when the counting started. Somebody was lazy? No!

The Orthodox churches believe that the Ethiopian calendar started counting from the year of the birth of Jesus and that is why the Ethiopian year is called ‘Amete Mihret’ meaning ‘year of mercy’.    And this means that the Gregorian calendar must have started somewhere between 7 and 8 years before the birth of Christ. Who knows the birth year of Jesus more than the church really, right?!

The Months and Days

The Ethiopian year is consisted of thirteen months, lucky people huh! Well, not too lucky. Why? Let me explain.

Just like the rest of the world the Ethiopian year has 365 days and 366 on a leap year. But here’s the trick; the first twelve months of the year have 30 days each, and that means that at the end of the twelve months there will be 5 or 6(leap year) more days left to enjoy before calling it a year. And that is when the thirteen month ‘Pagume’ is born determined to entertain the extra few days that the rest of the months couldn’t handle.

The Ethiopian new year starts on the Meskerem 01 which the 11^th of September for the rest of the world and it ends on Pagume 05 which is the 10^th of September.

The Time

I know what you are wondering, there is no way that the time could be different?! Ohh yes! If you are Ethiopian there is a way.

Since Ethiopia is located close to the equator, the land enjoys an equally shared 12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of night throughout the year. So when the sun is out and it is day the Ethiopians start the new day which is at 1 se’at (7am for the rest of the world) and when the sun sets and it is dark the Ethiopian  night time starts which is at 1 se’at (7pm). The day changes when the sun rises and the time system counts the lengths of day and night.

There is no AM and PM in Ethiopia so to distinguish the difference between AM and PM all you have to say is Qen or Mata (day or night). Get it?

So 8 se’at Qen is 2 PM and 8 se’at Mata is 2 AM. Quite fascinating really.

Pros

• You will get to enjoy two New Year’s celebrations and two Christmases.
• Christmas is on Tahisas 29 7^th of January, more time to buy presents.

Cons

• The time system is confusing for expats to arrange meetings and appointments untill they get used to it. Or untill they start saying 2pm ‘ferenji time’ (meaning foreigner time) at least.

Bottom Line

No need to fantasize about time travel after watching all these Hollywood sci-fi movies. Buy a round trip ticket to Ethiopia. One to the past, one back to the future.

Veganism as a way of life is said to have been known in the Western world for about 70 years or so. But over on the other side of the world Ethiopian Orthodox Christians, in the process of practicing their religion, have been occasional vegans with out having been labeled as such.

Ethiopia has been predominantly a Christian nation since its introduction in the early years of the first millennia. Since then, Christianity in Ethiopia has come a long way – facing its own ups and downs along the way over the past two thousand years. Today Ethiopia has its own Church known to the rest of the world as the Ethiopian Orthodox Christian Church with an estimated 30 to 40 million followers.

The Church follows very traditional and strictly followed long-standing religious practices, one of the more obvious being the fasting practice. There are, in total, around 250 fasting days spread across Ethiopia’s thirteen calendar months. Of these, 180 (including the lent season) are considered major. The remaining 70 fasting days are practiced only by the most strict (mostly older) followers of the religion.

Fasting season is considered a period of complete obedience to the church and the Holy Trinity. The followers are expected to leave aside all of their earthly desires and to strictly dedicate themselves to the words of the heavenly father. It is the time where good deeds are expected to be practiced and appreciated in all aspects of individual and communal life. It is the time of remembrance of the less fortunate and thriftiness is a widespread action. Repeated visits to the church, constant praying and lamentation are also actions that supposedly guarantee the heavenly gates to be wide open with a spectacular reception awaiting in the afterlife.

One very basic practice observed during the fasting season is the change in the eating habit of the practitioners. During this time feeding upon animal products like meat, egg, milk, cheese, butter or any derivatives of animals is strictly prohibited. Some say that seafood consumption is allowed however this action is highly contested by the hardcore conservative advocates of the religion as being an act of cheating over the long standing culture of fasting passed from generation to generation traveling through time to reach to this day.

So the question remains, what does one eat during the fasting season if eating animal products are prohibited? Is it possible to have a healthy viable life feeding only upon cereals, fruits, and vegetables? Well the Ethiopian Orthodox Church has proven it to be possible – they’ve done so even before vegetarianism and veganism were a way of life! Lucky for the Orthodox Christians, Ethiopian culture has highly developed vegetarian cuisine. The staple in every Ethiopian’s diet is ‘injera’, a spongy flat bread rich in iron and dietary fiber. It’s widely considered as a healthier alternative to wheat and maize because it’s gluten free. The primary ingredient in injera is ‘teff’, the seed of a plant which is a variation of a grass family. Teff is grinded into a powder, prepared as a sourdough and lovingly baked into Ethiopia’s beloved bread.

Injera is served as the base of a platter of Ethiopian dishes with each offering piled on top in globs. More bread is then rolled or cut into pieces and used to scoop the food into your waiting mouth. Therefore, eating Ethiopian cuisine with injera does not require using any utensils but rather having clean dexterous fingers is sufficient to enjoy the deliciousness.

Dishes served during the fasting seasons are entirely vegan friendly. Injera served with various vegetables and cereals cooked in a sauce or a thick stew are common. Potato, carrot, cabbage, mixed legumes, chickpea, collared greens, spicy lentils, spinach, beets, split yellow peas are just some of the ingredients quintessentially prepared during this time. Salads and fruits are also common as a side or dessert. All of those yummy animal products are reserved for the feasting season that follows fasting, particularly after the lent.

The popular meal known as ‘Beyayinetu’, assorted cereals and vegetables cooked in various ways, is served in almost all households and restaurants during the fasting season. Beyayinetu is a big platter of over ten types of mouthwatering scoops of stews made from various vegetables and cereals. Sometimes a whole chili filled with freshly diced tomato and onion minced with oil is served with a generous dollop of a chickpea-and-white bean dish called ‘Shiro’. Beyayinetu, the kaleidescope of the different colors of ingredients put together on one platter, looks so visually appealing and the taste is amazing which makes it a popular dih during the fasting season. It would be an understatement to referred to it as the ambrosia of the occasional vegans.

The popularity of Beyayinetu, which even attracts strict carnivores with its sophistication, is even hugely popular outside of the fasting season. Any vegans out there who have yet to discover Ethiopian fasting cuisine are missing out! A visit to Ethiopia would be a welcome relief to vegans who, no doubt, have a difficult time finding suitable food while travelling. Just make sure not to come during feasting season… that’s for the meat-lovers among us!